I fell of my bike just like i always used to

I realise these posts are slowly becoming a bit personal and self-centred (it's probably why the font size has become smaller and smaller), but i am too lazy to start a new blog to separate this junk from, well, the rest of the junk....So today i went on a bike ride with my bro. I think the last time i rode my bike was a good year ago. Last summer in fact, so no wonder it hadn't felt like summer properly, until i went for a ride today.

My brother had already asked my dad to take my bike out by the time i got back to the house after my Oxfam volunteering shift, and i was quite happy to hop right on still sporting the inappropriate dress i wore into town that day. It was wonderful. There was a nice cool breeze, and no cars and just my brother shouting 'i am the supersonic' (whatever that means) peddling like crazy miles ahead of me. 

He has finally learnt to ride his bike without any stabilisers, and can't get enough of being outdoors on the two wheels. Though i am 11 years older than him, i am still 'young' enough to be just a bigger kid to my brother, and i enjoy spending these precious moments with him, where i can cling onto that dwindling childhood euphoria before it really gets too late. 

Sometimes i wonder just how long i can go on like this, before we both outgrow each other. 

Probably the most fruitful thing that came out of this bike ride was when i fell over. I was in such a intense day dream, thinking about all the good times i had on my bike, that i lost track of where i was going and my front wheel skidded of a deep set pavement. I went crashing down, but luckily on the pavement side rather than the road side- and grazed my knees and left leg pretty bad.

To my brother's surprise i lay down laughing hysterically despite the sting down my legs, and i treasured how it felt. Its been such a long time since i've had this kind of fall that i embraced it, hoping that i will get another one sooner rather than later. 

It feels good to get hurt like this. It seems that there is nothing but emotional pain with every year added on and sometimes you just want it to hurt where you can see it and where you can heal it.

I will be taking my bike out again tomorrow, and i won't look back.